The Woman in Black...

First off I will say that I am not a film critic, I am simply stating what I honestly thought of the film having watched it through my fingers on the 10th of March 2012 in Cineworld, Bentley Bridge, Wolverhampton.

I'm not the world's biggest ghost fan and have been eternally petrified of "things that go bump in the night" since I was really young, HOWEVER, I do enjoy scaring the hell out of myself so decided to drag my boyfriend to see the Woman in Black.

After really trying to look past the historical inaccuracies of the film and the atrocious acting by just about every member of the cast and the fact that at every quiet moment a voice in my head was whispering "HARRY POTTER" I really tried to enjoy the film.

The film is mainly set in and around a small village that about a million miles from anywhere in what looks a lot like Wales, but can't be Wales because there wasn't 1 single Welsh person. Every villager is in a permanent state of shock, terrified and twitchy every time they are spoken to, I spent a lot of time wondering whether that was the look they were going for or they were just starstruck because Harry Potter was right there.

Then, and I won't go on about the scary bits because I could type until my fingers fall off about how horrible they were but this ghosty woman that was haunting the mansion didn't half like to scream.

That bitch screamed all the time and the amount of 'jump out of your skin' moments were ridiculous. 30 mins in I seriously thought I was on the verge of cardiac arrest, if I hadn't spent so much on the tickets I would have left the cinema for the good of my own health.

Another criticism I would have is it was painfully stereotypical for a horror, the protagonist follows shades, chases bumps in the night, walks in to very dimly lit rooms very slowly and turns around just that second too late so we see that crazy pale bitch in black robes but he doesn't. It didn't challenge any of the usual ghosty norms and I was a little disappointed.

For Daniel Radcliffe I expected him to choose a meatier role to depart from Harry Potter but I think he has made a mistake. He won't be winning any awards for this performance and it doesn't even hold a candle to Harry Potter. He was and will always be Harry Potter and he was paid very good money to be type cast. I think it might be a good idea to just go back home to your millions of pounds, shave that hideous beard and then in 30 years time he can be telling the Grandkids about how he used to be an actor.

All in all I would give the Woman in Black a 4/10.

I was expecting so much better, it did scare the crap out of me though.

P.S. Without giving the ending away, can I also say that I like a happy ending. This is not one of those.

Now to take my mind off how scary this film was, here is a totally unrelated picture of us eating ice cream. I would like to sleep tonight.