After a long day of working retail...

I work in retail.

With every passing shift It becomes clearer and clearer how much I don't want to be there.

It's not the hard work, I am no stranger to hard work. It's not the pay, I'm actually paid pretty well. It's the fact that I can't be in the slightest bit creative.

Over the past, probably 5 years I have managed to focus my life in the direction I want it to go. That direction is towards creativity and in turn happiness. I realised today that this is the last piece of my life that isn't focused towards my own happiness and own talents and that's why it makes me so discouraged. Sadly however, at the moment, one simply couldn't be without the other. Unless I wanted to be a dustbin dweller then it would be entirely plausible but otherwise no.

As my mood sinks however my motivation rises and my determination has never been so powerful.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm currently stuck in a bit of a loop but it's only temporary. I'm very much at the beginning of a journey which I sincerely hope will end in much much happiness and lots and lots of creativity.

Tuesday 24th April: The Day I realised why I am here.

This morning I was lucky enough to receive a talk from Nick Booth. I was previously unaware of his work but have since found that he has done some amazing things around Journalism and Social Media.

He asked us why we were here and to begin with I just couldn't answer. The only thing that came to mind was 'errr....I like to write,' but when I really started to think about it I really remembered why I had bothered to begin my degree at all.

From the beginning of my academic career I have been pushed towards academia. I was very skilled and very hardworking and would push myself to the end of the earth for an A but until later I realised this was simply my desire to succeed. I didn't enjoy these subjects, far from it but I couldn't fail. My heart and mind simply wouldn't let me.

I have always been an avid observer of the news in all its forms. From a very young age I have concerned myself with the inner workings of far flung countries and governments and truly felt my brain was a sponge. I simply can't take the feeling of not knowing what someone is discussing. I'm nosy and I like to talk to people, lack of knowledge gets in the way of that love and thats always been something that I haven't been able to handle.

I made it my business to become a sort of oracle at school. From a very young age within my family I have been known as the family encyclopaedia, always ready to explain and add to interesting conversation.

I also loved to write, I have folders full of poems, stories and reports. I am dyslexic so I have always struggled with maintaining concentration long enough to read a book. I need the information at such a rate that only an article would do. It wasn't until I left secondary school, and entered what at the time felt like 'the big bad world,' (how naive I was) that I actually realised I could do this as a job.

It hadn't dawned on me before but as though I was having some kind of spiritual enlightenment I suddenly realised, What if I were to make this into a job? My two biggest interests, writing and knowing everything about what is happening all over the place, or as it is commonly known Journalism.

Over the next year at college I found a course at Birmingham City University that I loved. I knew if I had any hope of making this fantasy career an actual reality I had to know the industry inside out and this was the first obvious way of doing that. I worked hard for 2 years with this course in mind, and in May 2010 I gained my place.

At 21 I'm obviously not mature, I'm in no way a seasoned professional but I would like to think I've grown over the last 2 years (since beginning my degree) and I now know how to answer Nick Booth's question.

Why is Emma Allen here?

I want to make people care about the news.
I want to make people who don't pick up the paper or watch the news care about what is happening in the world.
News has become rather unaccessible for a large portion of the community, all the jargon and gibberish is intimidating and if it wasn't there then maybe people would take the time to understand whats happening in the America Elections? or who President Sarkozy is? or whats happening in our own government?

A scary amount of people don't even know who our Prime Minister is and this needs to change.

The 'disillusioned youth' of last summers riots might have been a little less eager to destroy this country if they understood the reasons we're in a recession, why unemployment is so high and if they took the time to know whats happening in there community.

I'd like to think so anyway.

So...I've decided what my final year project will be and realised it was years in the making all in one day and all because of one discussion.

Multichannel yourself.

Ok, so I have just about every single social network that you could possibly imagine and yet, my thirst still remains to be un-quenched.

I have had a youtube channel for about a million years but I have never actually posted anything.

To begin with I hated the sound of my own voice, my yam yam accent is quite disgusting. Moreover, growing up in a Catholic household I was always taught to be seen and not heard and I think this has genuinely stuck with me. I've always been tentative when it comes to showing off, being exuberant or loud. I have gotten to a point in my life however that I'm just thinking 'sod it.'

SOOOOOOOOOO...I have began the process of building a radio show. Me and my good friend Amanda Johansson are hilarious and we feel we should share this with the world.

I am also making a resolution to work on my youtube, I have no choice but to keep up with my blog and to slowly but surely take over the world.

I will obviously be checking back in the coming months and letting you know how this world domination is going. I'm PRETTY SURE I WON'T but don't worry, I won't forget you when I'm fay-mousse.

What representations of femininity does Cbeebies "Charlie and Lola" offer and what issues does this raise?

Just came up with this exciting research question for an assignment I have coming up.

Although I'm not particularly looking forward to sitting through hours of children's programming I am looking forward to investigating this topic as, for those social scientists amongst you will know, representations is where its at.

Will keep you updated on how things progress but for now I'd better return to 'reading around my subject'. Hurrarr.

Recent Shoot.

These are the VERY raw, out of camera photos but I love the dusky light, the different textures and the addition of my little cat. All in all I'm really happy with the way they came out. I hope you like them to.

How do we begin? - A Successful Media Career.

Its a question that I often ask myself, when I leave the confines of my university and get thrown, cruelly into the real world, how will I manage?

Who will employ me? What will make me different to anyone else? How will I afford to eat?

Well, luckily my university (Birmingham City University) are very conscious of how scary this time is and my professional development is eternally grateful.

Within such a competitive and fast paced industry its easy to get lost and fade into the background. Over the last few years I've realised if I have any desire to further my career then I really need to step up my game as far as journalism goes.

My three year plan...

6 months

• Apply for Work placements and hopefully secure at least 2.
• Continue to update social networking sites such as twitter, blogspot, Facebook, linkedin. etc. 
• Attempt to write a new blog everyday.

1 year

• Obtain more work placements.
• GET MYSELF OUT THERE!!! Get my name known. 
• Send emails to prospective employers requesting work placements.
• Progress with blog, blogging as much as possible.

3 years

• Will have finished university, find an industry job!
• Continue to keep my media profile up.
• Work my way up the media ladder.
• Aim for the dream job!

I really think its vital to make plans such as this because when you have something real that you can aim for it makes it a lot easier to get your head down and work hard. 

Although its terribly scary I will not let it set me back, I've wanted to work within the media industry since I was a child and a little thing like a recession isn't going to stop me!

               

Woman on Woman Crime!

For many years it seems that women have been unable to see other women being happy, successful, stylish or beautiful and simply be happy for them. I often think that women are deficient in a chemical, something that would allow them to cheer on other peoples triumphs.

I often encounter this within life, work and education. Women can't simply see what you're wearing and say how much they like it. They automatically process this emotion in a negative way, like somehow by one woman looking good in a pair of shoes, for example, that this has some terrible implication for them. They react in a negative way and come up with a million reasons why they don't like the shoes or even why they don't like the person in the shoes.

I'm not for one moment suggesting that I am an angel, even I'm guilty of this. When collecting marks I am often met by women that have done better than me and instead of cheering them on and congratulating them, my teeth bare and my fists clench and for that moment I absolutely hate that person. Jealousy rushes through me like a drug, it may not show to the people around me but this is simply because I have become an expert at hiding it.

I would say however, we should triumph in the victories of others, cheer on our fellow woman. Say congratulations and mean it, say 'you look nice today' without thinking "you bitch!" in your head.

Have Destiny's Child and The Spice Girls taught us nothing?

                                   Me and my friend Hannah being victorious, try not to hate us.

Photography Project.

A little preview of a photography project that I'm working on. I absolutely love the dusky light in this picture. I will be uploading the whole project in the next few days when I've sorted and edited it all.

The Woman in Black...

First off I will say that I am not a film critic, I am simply stating what I honestly thought of the film having watched it through my fingers on the 10th of March 2012 in Cineworld, Bentley Bridge, Wolverhampton.

I'm not the world's biggest ghost fan and have been eternally petrified of "things that go bump in the night" since I was really young, HOWEVER, I do enjoy scaring the hell out of myself so decided to drag my boyfriend to see the Woman in Black.

After really trying to look past the historical inaccuracies of the film and the atrocious acting by just about every member of the cast and the fact that at every quiet moment a voice in my head was whispering "HARRY POTTER" I really tried to enjoy the film.

The film is mainly set in and around a small village that about a million miles from anywhere in what looks a lot like Wales, but can't be Wales because there wasn't 1 single Welsh person. Every villager is in a permanent state of shock, terrified and twitchy every time they are spoken to, I spent a lot of time wondering whether that was the look they were going for or they were just starstruck because Harry Potter was right there.

Then, and I won't go on about the scary bits because I could type until my fingers fall off about how horrible they were but this ghosty woman that was haunting the mansion didn't half like to scream.

That bitch screamed all the time and the amount of 'jump out of your skin' moments were ridiculous. 30 mins in I seriously thought I was on the verge of cardiac arrest, if I hadn't spent so much on the tickets I would have left the cinema for the good of my own health.

Another criticism I would have is it was painfully stereotypical for a horror, the protagonist follows shades, chases bumps in the night, walks in to very dimly lit rooms very slowly and turns around just that second too late so we see that crazy pale bitch in black robes but he doesn't. It didn't challenge any of the usual ghosty norms and I was a little disappointed.

For Daniel Radcliffe I expected him to choose a meatier role to depart from Harry Potter but I think he has made a mistake. He won't be winning any awards for this performance and it doesn't even hold a candle to Harry Potter. He was and will always be Harry Potter and he was paid very good money to be type cast. I think it might be a good idea to just go back home to your millions of pounds, shave that hideous beard and then in 30 years time he can be telling the Grandkids about how he used to be an actor.

All in all I would give the Woman in Black a 4/10.

I was expecting so much better, it did scare the crap out of me though.

P.S. Without giving the ending away, can I also say that I like a happy ending. This is not one of those.

Now to take my mind off how scary this film was, here is a totally unrelated picture of us eating ice cream. I would like to sleep tonight.

Jewellery Haul.

This glorious piece of craftsmanship was discovered by my mother in a Welsh charity shop. I am a lover of jewellery anyway but this was just my dream. It isn't the most expensive, but its beautifully made and to top it all off it cost £1. I haven't bought anything of note for one pound since the 90's. I've bought chocolate bars that cost more than this beautiful necklace.

She was obviously in a good mood and felt compelled to 'treat' me because she also found this ring. Its very very similar to a lot of swarovski's pieces at the moment, VERY sparkly and this picture really doesn't do it justice. This ring, you'll be happy to know was also ridic cheap. 50p. I died.

I am a very happy girl and for the grand total of £1.50, trust me when I say that NEVER happens. 

My mother will be having ALOT of cups of tea made for her to show my gratitude (its how we show love in Irish-Catholic households). 

British Summer Time

...technically begins at the end of this month and although it is currently the middle of March we were very briefly blessed with sunshine.

Whilst in Birmingham, enjoying the St.Paddy's day festivities, the sun beamed through the parted clouds and however briefly, gingers cowered and I rejoiced.

Like typical Brits the moment those rays touched down the clothes were removed and the sunglasses donned as an afternoon of sun worshipping commenced. Social engagements were put on hold all over the county because, HOLD THE FRONT PAGE the west midlands had some sun.

I chose to wrap up however, my skinny arms and lack of sufficient meat means I feel the cold terribly and lets be honest it was still chilly at best in the shade. My atrocious and ever changing eye sight and ridiculously expensive spectacles means no sunglasses for Emma. So I was content with a walk in the park and a 99.

The people of this glorious isle intrigue me at the best of times but add a bit of sunshine and the clothes come off, everyone is happier and it's like the weekend all week.

Roll on summer.

KONY 2012

Today I came across this incredible video. Designed by its incredible makers to move its viewers into spreading the word and making a difference. There really isn't anything I can say that the video won't be able to say itself. It surrounds the topics of Uganda, Joseph Kony and his invisible children and following their unthinkable plight against the constant threat of abduction and even death. Joseph Kony has consistently abducted, raped and killed children for the last 30 years, forcing 30,000 to fight in his young army. He forces his young recruits to kill their own parents and mutilate and kill at every turn. When watching this video my resounding thought was "Why didn't I know about this?" and "Why is no one doing anything about this??" Well they are...I'll let the video explain the rest.




 

Online Journalism

This is a fantastic video made about one of the modules that I am currently on. Online Journalism, if you look closely you can spot me a few times.

Student Loan Black Hole : Who's to blame?

I've been working with the team at @InvestigateEdu, www.investigateonline.co.uk looking at student loans, and the amount of public money that is being wasted on loans that probably won't ever be paid back. This is one of the articles that I wrote for the project.

Katie Allen is a 23 year old student from Wolverhampton, she is in her 3rd and final year reading Building surveying and has, to date amassed over £30,000 worth of debt. She originates from a working class family, she grew up in an ex-council house with a single mother and 3 siblings. She was the first of her family to attend university and insists she never gave it a second thought. “I always did well at school and I wanted to do well in life so going to university seemed like the natural thing to do.”

When discussing her loan she is particularly nonchalant, she doesn’t seem to regard these thousands of pounds as real debt. The average yearly wage of a Building Surveyor is currently £37,500, which means Katie is set to become one of the growing number of graduates who will never pay back their student loans. A recent study led by Dr. Leunig of the London School of economics found here suggests “a graduate would have to earn £42,750 a year for 30 years to pay off their debts.”

The number of students currently in UK Universities is around 1.9 million and of those 1 in 4 will never pay back their loans meaning millions of pounds of public money will simply be written off in 30 years time. At the moment this number is simply a prediction but over the next few years the true number will unfold and who’s to know how much public money is being wasted on university educations.

Furthermore, the office for Budget Responsibility estimates that the Government will have to borrow £10.7bn to pay out student loans in 2015-16, compared with £4.1bn at the moment. It has also emerged that the Government is assuming that the bulk of public investment in the new system “will be repaid by high-earning graduates.”

With new plans in place for the price of a degree to rise even higher for 2012′s undergraduates, it is likely that even less money will be paid back. The Government has allowed Universities to increase tuition fees to up to £9,000 a year but in turn has raised the threshold of repayment.

But how will this repayment fiasco ever be solved? Is it the fault of the students themselves? The Universities? or the Government?

The University

Kerry Gough, Lecturer and Student Welfare Officer for Birmingham City University’s School of Media suggests that it is the universities responsibility to ensure that their graduates are able to pursue the best and most fruitful career path. She details the lengths that BCU are currently going to to ensure that their students have the best chance to succeed, measures like ‘Job book’. Job Book is a scheme created with the hope of collaring all the job opportunities in the area and making them available for current and past students. .

The Students themselves

After interviewing several current and past students, attitudes towards loans have been very varied. Katie Allen described it as not seeming real, “too much to think about.” Reza-Ul Miah, a recent graduate of business described the debt as “a necessary evil,” something that he needed to take out to attend university.

There is a growing number of students however that are choosing to pay off their debts earlier, before they even embark on the working world. Taking part time jobs or borrow money from parents to ensure that they begin their work life without the burden of a student loan. A recent study, however has described this act as a “gift to the government.” After plans to levy hefty charges on graduates who chose to pay off their debts early were binned, it might be the case that repaying part of your debt early will in reality not bring down your repayments at all.

For example, a graduate who earns £30,000 a year who had previously paid off 10% of their debt would not reduce their repayment at all on a £38,250 loan.

Dr Leunig suggests “Few people have £40,000 sitting around, and extra repayments are likely to be a small percentage of the total owed.”

The Government

There has been a lot of debate over past years about student loans within the government, demonstrations and riots have taken place on an almost weekly basis. From this year universities will be allowed to charge undergraduates upto £9,000 a year for their places on degree courses, a stark contrast to pre-1998, the era that most of these politicians went to university, when there were no tuition fees at all.

Coupled with the fact that Scottish students get their tuition paid and Welsh student get their tuition subsidised, it’s no wonder this is a contenious subject at the moment. A recent government inquiry into higher education has suggested that tuition fees could rise even further in the coming years.

There have been calls for the UK government to adopt a funding system, similar to the one used in Australia. Don Nutbeam, vice-chancellor of Southampton University suggests that

“In the UK, a single “capped” loan scheme could be introduced for domestic students covering both undergraduate and postgraduate learning and available whenever students take up their studies. Such a system would improve access to postgraduate education for all and help strengthen one of the key elements of our knowledge economy.“

This might reduce the number of students that don’t ever complete their repayments and reduce further the amount of public money that is going to be lost when these loans get written off.

Katie is set to begin an MA in Architecture and will amass another £10,000 of debt in the next year. She is unsure whether she is ever pay these thousands back but only the next 30 years will tell whether she will add or take away from the seemingly endless pot of public money being spent on Student Loans.

Leopard Leggings

I bought these leggings yesterday:

Tried them on with just about every single item in my wardrobe.

They just don't work.

I have come to the conclusion that my legs are just far too long, the print stretches too far and theres just too much leopard.

I wanted them so badly to look amazing.

HOW ANNOYING.

Harvey Nichols Adverts

Just found this amazing Harvey Nichols adverts. I love them.

I do love to see a bit of clever advertising.

Instagram

I can't say that I ever quite understood the point of instagram. I don't have any interesting things to take pictures of during the day. However I gave in and downloaded, forced myself to use and have become a little bit addicted.

It maybe full of pictures of me and my cats but its keeping me very happy.

I have always been fascinated by the way that social media has just grown and grown and pretty much taken over the world over the past few years and this is just another step in that world domination.

Its sup rising when you begin using instagram what you actually begin to think other people will want to look at.

In the cold light of day you realise that your cat sitting just looks the same as any old cat sitting anywhere to someone that doesn't know him.

I sometimes wonder however, are we sharing too much? It's all very well being able to post endless status' about what you've been doing and checking into foursquare the second you enter any building but pictures. It gives whole different dimension to the lack of privacy we have today but me and my nosy self kind of like it.

You can't ever know TOO much about anyone.

Toca Boca Hair Salon

I don't generally play games, never have been a computer geek but this game is just hilair.

Basically, you are a hairdresser and your job is to give your clients a satisfactory hair cut using the tools you have available.

There is absolutely no point to it but there is something just fantastic about cutting, dying and washing the hair of lions and pink women.

Letting out roars of approval as you chop away, I guarantee you'll enjoy it.

BEST PART: It's free.

Jeremy Kyle Stateside

There are a few things that I don't quite get about Jeremy Kyle USA. It doesn't seem quite as authentic as its British counterpart.

First of all, why do the participants feel they need to dress up for Jezza. A track suit is entirely except able. Cleanliness isn't essential, infact it's discouraged.

Secondly why do they have such boring problems. We are so far past "he's cheating on me I need a lie detector." I need at least a bit of incest to keep me from turning over to something slightly more intellectually fulfilling.

I do have to give the Americans the edge when it comes to angry people. Maybe we're just numb to Jezza's ranting but it really seems to rub those yanks up the wrong way.

I do think if we give it time they will slowly realise that there is no point dressing up and there is no point applying if we don't have insane problems, Jeremy Kyle will just be generally better and everyone will be happy.

They might even consider a face tattoo ala Mad Dog Deon. Legend.

The Walking Dead

After what has felt like 5 years, the Walking Dead is finally back from their break and we can finally find out what the hell is going on and I can go back to being totally addicted.

We were dropped back into what is beginning to feel like some kind of parallel universe just after the barn has been opened and the walkers have all been shot. The starch realisation that the last zombie out of the shed was Sophia has hit the whole camp hard, all except for Shane (or angry, angry bald guy, as I like to call him). He is still angry, very angry, at who? I haven't really worked that out yet, he is just pissed about the whole end of the world crap I think.

To interject, I have just realised the size of his earlobes, astounding.

Anyway, they dig graves for the several walkers they have just written off and as the violin backing music plays louder and louder and I wonder when Carol and Daryl are going to get it on, Hershel goes A.W.O.L.

You would have thought they'd have been sick and tired of idiots straying from the pack after Sophia when walk a bouts but no, they go searching in town.

A town which we already know from last season is riddled with the walking dead.

As per, they take Glenn, if only to be the bait for those flesh hungry little biters.

It obviously wouldn't be feasible for there to be an Asian hero in this program, but thats another post all together. LOL.

...and now as I type, Lori (the pointless woman) decides to go for a drive and perpetuates the myth of female drivers. She manages to hit a random walker, while looking at a map and then crash her car quite spectacularly.

Who will find her?

Well who could have predicted that the insufferable woman would have gone for a little drive really is the question we should be asking.

If the walker she hit isn't finished off then maybe she'll come strolling back to the farm in a more bite-y state than when she left.

Well hello...we have now met a young dashing new yorker and his chubby friend. Rick and Hershel don't want them to come back to the farm, I have never begged my tele before.

And as quick as they arrived they have been shot in the head.

What an unfortunate turn of events.

I assume this is to signify Rick going baaaaaaaaaddd.

Ar yes, there is the grimy rock music. Its about to go dooooown.

Guess where I'll be at 10pm next friday????

The amount of times....

I have tried and failed to create a blog and sustain it is ridiculous.

It has come to a point however in my blossoming career that I have been forced to create one and under pain of death I must sustain it.

The problem that I faced in the past is a lack of imagination when it comes to subjects.

What am I supposed to write about?

Will anyone actually care about what I am writing about? and most of all, will anyone actually read it?

I would guess that that is a fairly common problem however so I have no choice but to bite the bullet and jump in the deep end and several other sayings.

Expect drivel, I need time to perfect my art.